AEW Dynamite: Yet another major announcement

Posted by Jon Waldman | May 31, 2023

We aren't starting with an Orange Cassidy match so Dynamite is already getting a thumbs up from me!

Bryan Danielson is in on commentary to start…

Conspicuous by his absence is Konosuke Takeshita. Bandido looks like he's cosplaying as the Jolibee mascot.

Match starts even and Thigh Slappers send the heels to the outside. Before triple Lucha madness, BCC breaks things up. Total clusterfrick and eventually we actually get the bell ringing… sure.

Yuta with a Standing Senton for two.

Bandido reverses a Suplex attempt and has Yuta up for delay, a long delay at that at a minute before finally putting him down. Pinfall gets two.

Luchas take over with all sorts of craziness, but BCC gets the schmozzfest going again. Eventually, Bandido eats a Spike Piledriver on the outside and we go to the break.

Back from break, Mox has Bandido in a straightjacket. Eventually fortunes are reversed and it's time for Fenix and Castagnoli. Fenix shows off until Penta is tagged in and we get Sandwich Thigh Slappers. Penta shows off and has some impressive offence until he eats a Lariat.

Boo-yeah exchange between Yuta and Bandido once the two are back in the ring. More Lucha craziness leads to the EDDIE GUERRERO RIP OFF. And you know what that means… yep, I’m done.

No, I’m not going to stop. They can stop. Too bad because this was a better match than we’re used to seeing as the curtain jerker.

Winners: Blackpool Combat Club

Post match, Danielson heads down tot he ring to join the celebration. I half expected the Evolution treatment to Yuta. Didn't happen.

Backstage, Alex Marvez talks with The Elite. Dark Order interrupts and shows their jealousy. We find out that Kenny Omega is back in Canada before the segment ends.

Back to the ring, Tony Schiavone is out to meet up with Bullet Club Gold and call out FTR. Jay White speculates that FTR is out to join the Club. Before much can happen though, Juice Robinson ignites things with a suckerpunch. Quickly, BCG decimate FTR. FINALLY the top guys get a real feud. Ricky Stars finishes the segment with a challenge for a six-man next week.

Tony Khan is out for the latest big announcement, which, to the surprise of no one, will have CM Punk at Collision's return.

No indication of stakes in this match. Big Bill, by the way, is the worst name in wrestling, and you can't teach that.

It's what you’d expect from a three-way, at least to start. The mix of styles don't really work with the SAWFT one, but Swerve and Barretta work well together.

Action at the turnbuckles result in a double Superplex on Bill. Black Hole Slam by Bill gets two, Swerve breaks it up and gets two of his own on Bill. If only Barretta wasn't such a joke this would be better.

The match improves as things go along. Swerve wipes out Bill on the apron and then gets a roll-up pin on Barretta for the duke.

Winner: Swerve Strickland

Backstage, we get a look at Kris Statlander's victory and interview. Very well done.

At the entranceway, The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn are interviewed by Renee Paquette. The mission is clear – get Daddy Ass gold one more time.

Callis and Takeshita are out next. Heat is pouring out, but you’d have a hard time convincing me this is real heat not X-Pac heat. Callis namedrops Okada, which is the tease we’re expecting for Forbidden Door. Takeshita rattles off in Japanese but doesn't get the WHAT?!? treatment. Callis then says he's forming a new "family", which should mean yet another faction for AEW.

Speed vs. strength standard bout. It's sad how quickly Allin has been pushed down the card after main eventing. Hopefully this leads to a heel turn by Darby and him obliterating Cassidy.

Match is what yoiu’d expect with some decent acrobatics from Allin, but the little guys are just obliterated by the much better version of the Viking Raiders. For some ungodly reason this goes long enough for the PiP treatment.

Sting comes out at one point.

Cassidy's goofiness is just too much for me to deal with. Shockingly (sarcasm), the smaller guys win.

Winners: Allin/Cassidy

Schiavone is back in the ring when he's interrupted by Hook. Before Hook can sound off, he is interrupted by Los Ingronables. The two lay waste to Hook until Jungleboy Jack Perry comes out. And there's another Pillar who has been shuffled far down the card after losing to MJF.

At this point, I almost feel like Hook should be elevated and be the one to dethrone Freedman. No one else is credible, especially when you see how far Perry and Allin are shuffled down so quickly.

Backstage, Renee talks with the Outkasts. Decent promo by Toni Storm leading into the house show circuit.

Rose means absolutely nothing now.

Statlander looks good in the match but really this is an elegant squash. Taka Valkerie is shown watching backstage before yet another PiP. FEH.

Rose gets way too much offence.

Statlander wins with the 450.

Winner: Kris Statlander

Okay, I admit it, I miss the alien gimmick a bit, but this is a very good look for Statlander. Hopefully she's not relegated to the C show like Cargill continually was.

Jericho and Cole start things off. No intergender clause here.

Women are in and Baker gets the first pinfall attempt. Jericho trips up Baker at one point just to push the limits of the rules before we go to PiP.

Back from break Saraya is still in control and a ref distraction leads to the other Outcasts coming out. Hikaru Shida comes out with her Singapore cane to even the odds and get the extra personalities scurrying to the back. Baker gets a two on the distraction roll-up. Jericho enters the ring and eats a slap while AEW production stupidly puts it into a small frame to promote Collion dates. Terribly-planned.

Men tag in at some point. Jericho hits the lionsault for two despite looking gassed to all heck. He quickly tags out and the women are back in.

Jericho covers Saraya when Baker goes for a splash, which actually only adds to the weight crashing down on her. DUMB! Still only gets two.

Cole tags in, tries Panama Sunrise but Jericho catches him into the Walls. Saraya takes out Baker in a good move. Jericho keeps the pressure on while Baker gets her glove on, enters and puts the Lock Jaw on Jericho. Saraya breaks it up.

In a nice callback moment to WM19, Cole tunes up the band. Jericho answers with a Codebreaker though… for two.

Boo-yays lead to a double clothesline spot, which is kinda irrelevant since one tag means both have to come in. Heat for the women isn't as high. Saraya hits the not-named RamPaige for two. Jericho grabs his bat, goes for Baker, misses, and eats Thigh Slappers a plenty. Stereo from the happy couple to Jericho puts him down, leading to the Boom for three.

Really good match, but Jericho is showing his age more and more. Seriously, he's in Randy the Ram territory now.

Winners: Cole/Baker

And that's the show. See you some other time.

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